When it comes to making that initial contact, striking up a conversation with someone new, I become terrified. While I can only guess as to where my shyness came from, I do believe my background may have played a contributing factor. While my upbringing may have played a role in my approach to strangers, I do also have some ideas on ways to improve.
My upbringing isn’t unique by any stretch of the imagination, but I do believe it had a contributing factor in the way I approach strangers. The majority of my childhood I spent more or less alone because I was an only child. In addition, the street I grew up on didn’t have any children. So my interaction was mostly with adults, whom I always saw as my superiors as opposed to my equals. As a result, I would always follow directions and keep to myself whenever they weren’t around. While I’m no psychology major, I do believe that this plays a partial role in my quiet nature around other people.
There are two ways that I can improve how I communicate with people. The first would be to use icebreakers. Giving a compliment would be one example of such icebreaker. You can never give out enough genuine compliments and everybody likes them. It’s a good way to get someone else to feel good about themselves and to start up conversation. After I’ve been able to approach a stranger, active listening would be the next step as it’s the “hallmark of a good conversationalist.” (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009) Active listening is something I’ve thankfully had practice in with my volunteering at Samaritans, a registered charity aimed at providing emotional support towards those with feelings of distress, despair, or suicidal thoughts. It wasn’t easy to do, especially due to the nature of the content that people expressed, but it has increased my active listening skills with people in general.
While I do believe a part of my background has played a role in how I approach people in general, there are things that I can do to improve myself in doing so. Life is constantly changing and constantly evolving. As new experiences are gained, future obstacles that share these experiences become less of a challenge and more of an opportunity.
References
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages The Communiccation Skills Book. Oakland: New Harbinger Publicaions, Inc.
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